Bang! Bang! Shouty Car! Whir! Whir! Or why video games have actually grown up and are now well written like TV and films

Despite what my title says, I actually do believe video games have gained an artistic edge which puts them on par with cinema and TV. Honestly, just stick with me. I have proof and everything.

Years ago, in an age before Amy Childs and Geordie Shore, video games were reserved for people in pubs lining up to have a go at eating chasing ghosts, or battling evil aliens invading from space, and not a lot else. Then games got a bit better, and involved a lot of jumping like this. And if you were cool and liked small, blue, woodland creatures #winning then like THIS. Slightly better plots, but not much better. With these types of games coming out they inevitably gained a different audience, specifically male kids and teenagers. Developers seemed to grasp on to this knowledge and started to continue to not offer much in the sense of story telling, and started to exclusively cater to teen boys who wanted brain-candy. Specifically, violent brain candy. We got Mortal Kombat, Streets of Rage, Killer Instinct and Doom just to name a few in this genre. All very nasty and all bloody good fun, but didn't exactly have a story to tell. However, in 1997 the grand-daddy of all violent and totally catered-for-teens games was released. Rockstars infamous Grand Theft Auto. It had cars, guns, violence and money. A lot of very mindless fun, but not a lot else. I honestly couldn't tell you the plot because I don't think it really had one, but teens loved it. Unsurprisingly it attracted a wealth of controversy. Newsnight berated it, The Daily Mail condemned it as more evil than New Labour, and parents were outraged by it. Yet it still sold bucketloads. It was with this that the general, non-video game playing public decided to dismiss games as for teenagers who stay in too much and maturbate too often. And for years, video games were perceived as that. Video games had grown up by dumbing down, lost in a world of shooting stuff because you could.

But now I believe that's changed...

Don't get me wrong, there are a TON of video games out right now which are dumb, go bang bang and involve lots of violence, many of which I enjoy. But what I mean by change is in the quality of writing. Games now try to tell a story, albeit usually with violence, but an intelligent story at that. Take for example Grand Theft Auto circa 1997 and GTA IV from 2008. Both at the crux, involve you playing as an anti-hero rising up through the criminal world, committing acts of violence and serious crime to make it to the top. However, the difference in story between the two is gargantuan. GTA '97 was a game that at its crux was 'bang bang shooty whir whir' with sod all in the sense of a script. GTA IV however told a black-as-night satirical tale on the crime genre of an immigrant trying to snatch the American dream. GTA IV was well written. It actually made you want to watch the cut-scenes because they were not only funny as hell, but genuinely had you captivated, because unlike this blog they were WELL-WRITTEN. Obviously, some people just bought it because, *adopts thick, chavvy accent* 'You shag prozzies and you've got a gun and shit mate' missing the point entirely. But they're probably still in their bedroom's nursing a chronic masturbation problem.

Scripts in games have improved a million-fold since the dunderhead PS1 years. Rockstar's other titles Red Dead Redemption and L.A Noire have proved this. Red Dead redemption told the tale of an old outlaw who is blackmailed by the US government into hunting down and killing his old gang buddies, or they'll take away his family. The game makes you give a shit about lead character John Marston because he says and does things that you would expect a man would do in his predicament. The way he develops over the course of the game's 20 or so hours, is natural and real. The ending SPOILER ALERT of you facing off against the US Marshalls, who after giving you back your family, screw you over by coming to kill you is so damn heart-breaking, you can't help but well up. As you stand there, 1 vs 50 with just six bullets and are told to fight, giving you that glimmer of hope that you can get out of this, just to have it dashed as you are killed in a hail of bullets is writing that is equally on par with something on the big screen or TV. I honestly believe HBO could make a series out of the Red Dead Redemption source material.

Red Dead Redemption isn't the only one. The aforementioned L.A Noire tells the tale of a hardened WWII veteran Cole Phelps who becomes one of LAPD's finest in the 1940's. The way the game highlights his over-bookishness as a counter-balance to his torment over his conduct during the war is inspired. And again, something which could easily be translated to a film script. Furthermore, like most good films, the game made you think. You need wits in this game, the ability to figure things out, to think like a real detective. Brain Candy this ain't, but it's all the better for it.

Now all those detractors that say "But what about all those other dumb games?! The bang bang ones? They can't be as smart as TV or film!" I say this, have you ever watched the BAFTA award-winning (yes, for real) 'The Only Way Is Essex'? Has that ever intellectually nourished you? No, because it's not meant to. Just like Mortal Kombat isn't meant to improve your life. It's meant to distract you for half an hour while you forget about the evils of taxes, that 7am start tomorrow and Justin Bieber. There's certain TV and films that are just their to entertain and nothing more, as there are films which make you think and are clever and genuinely world changing. Just like there are smart as hell games...

...and ones that go bang bang shouty car whir whir.

Cowboys & Aliens Review

In a summer that is packed to the rafters with blockbusting wizards, robots and tiny blue pain in the arses, where does a film with a title as unambiguous as 'Cowboys & Aliens' fit in to this? Well for my second movie review in a row, said movie just doesn't quite get there.

Daniel Craig (Layer Cake, Munich and some franchise where he plays a spy, I think) plays Jake Lonergan, a man who wakes up in the middle of the desert with no recollection of who or where the hell he is. Jake's in a bit of a pickle, as he gets set upon by some bandits, and he's not wearing much and has got some odd looking jewellrey attatched to his wrist. To say that this is not Jake's day is somewhat of an understatement. Anyways after some quick fisticuffs he hotfoots into the nearest town where he discovers he's actually a bit of a bastard that robbed and shot people. Lots.

Well he is a cowboy...

Anyway, nightfall arrives and he's about to be taken away for some hang time when low and behold, aliens attack! Hell breaks loose as the aliens in their spaceships begin abducting the townsfolk by lassoing them to their ships. The irony-spewing bastards. Amid the chaos, Jake notices his funky new bracelet starts lighting up and is not a bracelet afterall, but is actually an alien weapon (obviously) and promptly shoots down one of the ships. The townsfolk realise they need Jake afterall and set about getting the abducted townsfolk back.

The problem with Cowboys and Aliens is that it can't seem to decide what film it wants to be. For the first 30 minutes or so, it's an out and out western, and is damn near flawless. But when the aliens arrive it turns into sci-fi action fare for the rest of the film. Considering that this is a near-two hour film, the sci-fi outweighs the western element a lot. Being two genres is fine by all means, but when your film is called COWBOYS & Aliens, you have to blend the two genres together, and this just doesn't quite pull it off.

However it's not all bad. Daniel Craig is on superb form as badass cowboy Lonergan, brooding and shooting and being heroic in an anti-hero sort of way. Harrison Ford does perma-pissed off to perfection as a pissed off father who's son has been nicked by the aliens. Olivia Wilde does well too as a tough-edged cowgirl. Oh and Sam Rockwell is in it. 'Nough said (the man's class). Final mention too to Walton Goggins, purely because he needs more recognition than he gets (but that's another article).

To surmise Cowboys & Aliens is an okay film, just don't expect the earth. Hell, it's better than Green Lantern.

6/10

Captain America: The First Avenger Review

Another week, another comic book film. Why should you bother to part with your hard-earned cash for yet another superhero film? And a superhero that was basically a propaganda tool for patriotic Americans?

Well to be honest, I'm not totally sure you should. But it's got nothing to do with the whole America thing. Promise.

Lets start with the plot. Chris Evans plays all-American piss-weed Steve Rogers, who despite wanting to ever-so-desperately fight the good fight for his country in WWII, can't get past the initial recruitment stage. After attending a World's Fair, he is encouraged to sign up to a secret government program by not-at-all evil German scientist, Dr. Abraham Erskine (played very well by Stanley Tucci). After being injected with a 'super-soldier serum', in a flash, Rogers is turned from a scrawny wet-lettuce to ripped adonis. Captain America is born!

So he's a high-jumping, marathon-running all American hero. But needs someone to fight. And boy does he have an opponent. Step up really-super-evil German Johann Schmidt a.k.a The Red Skull (played by Hugo Weaving). A man so evil even Hitler doesn't want him in the Third Reich. So yes, Evil.

Anyway, he has found an ancient energy cube that allows to him to build kick-ass weapons and generally be a bastard to all. Cap's gotta stop him. Can he save the day?

Well I'm not going to ruin the film for you, but you're not idiots. C'mon, it's called Captain America afterall. So you know the yanks are going to prevail. It's WWII, that's fine, I don't mind that. It's the fact that the way he does save the world is so...frickin'...mediocre.

Don't get me wrong, there are many a 'splosion in this film,  and damn fine 'splosions they are. But the films just missing that...warmth. That sense of awe. That edge that makes comic book films so brilliant. This film just doesn't have that. It takes itself so very seriously, and it fails for it. Which is a shame, as there is plenty of campness which could have been mined perfectly, but instead is completely glossed over. Furthermore you just do not care for the characters. Honestly, throughout my viewing of this film I just didn't give a damn if Captain America prevailed. He's just so very boring.

However it's not all bad. Hugo Weaving looks like he's having an absolute blast as the Red Skull. He camps it up with a faux-German accent to a tee. And Hayley Atwell, who plays Agent Peggy Carter as Captain's Love interest, has a wonderful tenacity to her. But it's not enough.

If it's any consolation, it's a million miles better than the god-awful Green Lantern. But it hasn't got a patch on the amazing Thor, or the best superhero film of the year, X-Men: First Class. Oh and it has a teaser for the dribble-inducing Avengers movie after the end credits.

So I guess its unlucky Cap. Better luck next year with Avengers.

6/10