Described by many as “more than a
trio” and in fact, even a band in some circumstances, JLS rose to
prominence with their many odes to previous boyband's on Simon
Cowell's the X-factor in mid-2008, being the only reason to live
after the distraught England national football team's failure to
qualify for the European Championships that same year.
Louis Walsh, the band's manager, has
said that he is “devastated” by the news of the band's untimely
ending, but will cope with his grief through his new band, 'Westlife:
With A Vengeance'. He and his pet Jedward have asked for privacy
during this difficult time.
JLS had many no.1 hits including
'Everybody In Love' and 'That one where they're on the beach in the
video? One of them does a back-flip(?)' The band themselves have
described comparisons to the Jackson 5 as, “numerically inaccurate”
but musically, “spot on”.
They will best be remembered however
for their sterling work in rejuvenating sex-lives across the nation
with the release of their own brand of condoms, 'Generic and
radio-friendly'. Fearne Cotton described them as 'safe in every
conceivable way' and 'used regularly by Radio 1 DJ's'.
They are survived by One Direction,
4/5ths of 5ive and Taylor Swift, who has vowed that they are never,
ever, ever getting back together. Except for maybe £10m each for a
reunion in five year's time.
JLS, the band, the myth, the legend,
dead aged 5. December 2008 – April 2013.
